Walking with my son


The very first glance of him changed my world.

When he was a baby I used to wonder how it would feel to see him walking and waited impatiently to see those small feet set its first steps. Even when I saw other kids running I would say to myself ” just a few more months ” and he will also be out there running!

Now he is in third standard and I wonder where all those years have gone.

As a baby he was smart , friendly and intelligent. But somehow he was different from others even though we couldn’t tell what was it.

He is very intelligent but he is not like other kids. That was what always confused us. He would struggle with the most simplest things. His memory is , well, I don’t know what to say. I just rely on him without any doubt. He will align anything simply looking at the pictures in the manual . How he could see it fully in his mind I always wonder.

He always found it difficult to strike a friendship especially with kids of his age. But I have found him immensely enjoying with kids smaller than him.

He became very moody once he started to go to school.The problems seemed to increase when we would scold him for that. Teachers always complained about him for being very sensitive.

The real problem started when the spelling lessons began.  He  wrote every thing upside down in mirror writing.   jumbled the spellings. And would not read anything if he could help it . Lost umpteen number of pencils, and rubbers, scales and umbrellas . Never completed his notes. Would never remember his home works or assignments.

And I always thought it was his laziness. I will never be able to forgive myself for those times.

I recognized that he is a child with learning differences ( if you want to know more about dyslexia click here ) only after seeing the  movie ” Tare zameen par“. I saw my son in Ishaan.When we started to see the movie we all said to him , ” See this boy is exactly like you.”  During every scene we said the same until everything started to unfold itself.By the time the movie finished , I was dumb with grief.

I cried for a whole week . It took a while for me to accept it.Thanks to all the guidance on net.

Thanks to Ameer and his crew for the effort they have taken. ( I was a hard core Ameer fan even from my school days, but never thought that he would give a message that will change my child’s life.)

I identified that he is a child with Learning Disabilities on the verge of losing him.  We had almost forgot how he laughed and he had become very stubborn . For the first time we realized, it was his helplessness that we thought as stubbornness.

It was the most shocking experience that happened in my life. After that I made a promise to myself that I will help him get through and will always be there for him .

At first he would not speak of his class or school or anything personal. The mental pain I had inflicted trying to make him perfect was more than I could imagine.

But I wouldn’t give up.  I kept on asking him about  every silly thing I had always taken for granted.  I Hugged him , kissed him . Every day I would tell him, ” We love You!”

We started to work on his strengths. Elocution, drawing, building blocks, puzzles , computer , school projects and so on…

Slowly, very slowly he began to respond. He began to respond to our love, care , support and patience.

When he lost his things I said to myself that  my son is more precious to me than all those silly things. Instead I gave him a check list and a smiley to make him remember that we love him for what he is , and nothing , absolutely nothing would ever change it.

And believe me, slowly the child who used to lose all his things , who could never complete his class works and could only be found crying,  slid into the back of our memory and a  sweet boy who is very understanding , most lovable and confident of his strengths evolved . It took more than a year.

Now we learn every thing in our own way. I don’t have to teach him the portions taught at school as he knows them better than me. But I teach him how to write them  correctly for exams.

For maths I send him to Abacus classes and now he has improved a lot . When I think of the 1st and 2nd std boy who was so much teased for his slow writing he has gained so much .

My special thanks to his Abacus Trainer Ms.  Priya. . She  gave him confidence, support and company. Even then, I don’t know what will happen in the next term as it covers multiplication and division and he hasn’t reached that level for Abacus.

Thanks to his 2nd standard English teacher Ms Anitha who somehow did the magic and made him read books. He has become a voracious reader. Reads anything he could lay his hands on. Reads beautiful bed time stories  to his little sister.

( One thing about Dyslexia is it cannot be handled by a single individual . It needs the support of the family and society or anybody who comes in contact with the child. As these children are very observant they can sense even the slightest change in your facial expression . So you have to be alert almost always.)

Now he is  the captain of his team . I help him with every work he has to do even if it is some what out of the way. He has his own ideas of doing his projects. And believe me, the results are amazing.

One day we were making a chart on Delhi  and casually my son told me ” Mother, Now I have so many friends . I don’t know why.” It was his way of saying that he was very happy with it . It took some time for the words to sink in.

It were the most beautiful words he has ever told me. Just like some body had said, it may be a  small step for his friends but  a great leap for my son who had spent most of his time in school alone. Now, he goes to school with his cricket bat , and a whole lot of books from his library for his friends to read.

I am happy that our  love and care has brought back smile on his face.

Even now sometimes he drive me out of my limits. Has difficulty in  making and writing sentences. Now also  he lose his things once in a while , gets bullied by his  class mates or van mates now and then, may not complete his work or may became frustrated when things doesn’t go his way.

But after a while he realizes that he can get through . And we know the hard work he puts to adjust with his exceptions and that makes all the difference.

It has been two years now and now it is difficult to think that I related him to Ishan. He has changed so much. The only thing that had to change was my attitude..

Today when I walk with him holding his hands there is hope ! Hope of a future not so far away when those small hands will be big and strong enough to hold me !

__________________________________________________________________________

Note :  I write this for all those parents out there who don’t realize the turmoil their child is going through . To those who don’t realize the effort your child puts to keep up with your standards.  All they want  You is to accept them.

Realize it !

Set down your standards a little bit. Let your child smile, laugh and play! Let them do what they love to and let them not be afraid to wake up in the morning worrying what awaits them today at school and at home!

Make this world a better place for him/her to live.And it is never too late!

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15 responses to “Walking with my son

  1. it was wonderful reading about your son. I have 4 boys. all of them special but One… is also different.
    Annemarie
    you-leave-me-breadless.blogspot.com

  2. Hi

    I was really touched by the time I reached the end of this page. I was almost in tears when I saw TZP, but to learn that this kind of thing also happens in real life really hurts. But all dark coulds have a silver linning. The way you helped your son out of it is amazing…
    Every child is special and one should concentrate on the positives instead of being sad abt the negatives. You have proved this. Great, keep it up.

  3. @ Nivedita , 🙂

    Yes, Every child is special 🙂

    It takes great effort to accept the exceptions . But once done they will rock 😀

  4. Very happy that ur son is very happy for his friends and his parents too.
    Wishing him loads of GOOD LUCK and good health throughout his life.
    U rock by dong such a great job and ur kids will be proud of u for sure 🙂

  5. Hi Aswathy !!

    I found it impossible to go thru ur blog after reading some of the posts – because each post brought tears to my eyes. You are an exceptional woman Aswathy; and I adore how you phased your son through LD. The very first line of this post, i.e ‘walking with my son’ touched me so much, I still have tears. Kudos my dear woman !! 🙂

  6. Thanks Urmi ! I cannot say I phased him thru . But he has improved a lot !

    I am sorry if it made you cry. 🙂

    I selected the heading because I started to walk with him while I was writing this post . Before that it was terrible . They will run around . But gradually it changed . It was the last sentence that happened first and the whole post came out of it .

    There are so many out there who needs to be aware of this . From my experience parents would rather accept their kids are lazy than they are disabled. When they do this they are closing a door through which we can reach the child and help him through .

    That is why acceptance is also as important as awareness .

  7. Urmila Santosh

    No Aswathy, I meant these lines ‘The very first glance of him changed my world.
    When he was a baby I used to wonder how it would feel to see him walking and waited impatiently to see those small feet set its first steps. Even when I saw other kids running I would say to myself ” just a few more months ” and he will also be out there running!’

    Very well written !! I understand your point about parents not being aware at all!

  8. Oh Urmi, That is exactly what I felt . You know , with the first baby you would never know when will they start waliking and how life would change . I have really stared at other kids running and caught myself for fear , the parents would think of black eye 😀

    It was the same with my daughter also . I couldnt wait to hear the ringing of her payal . 🙂

  9. Hi Aswathy,
    It is so touching.yestrday when i read it i was abt to cry.Ishaan was so close to my heart.2day i want to read it again, and wat i want to see again and again is the smiling face of u’r son
    My hearty wishes to U’r lilboy and gr8 mom U
    I saw u r frm Kerala and wanted to send a frnd reqst
    but for that i want u’r Mail id
    Geetha

  10. Geetha,

    Hearty welcome to my blog . Where are you from Kerala ?

  11. This is one of the most beautiful posts I have read. It brought tears to my eyes. Seeing TZP had me in tears (i rarely cry at the movies) and your post too had the same effect. Hugs to you and the little one.

  12. Thanks Shail , It really means a lot more than a complement when it comes from a veteran Blogger like you. 😀
    More than a post this is what exactly I felt then . I jotted it down more out of helplessness and to figure out what is happening . But now I am happy that I did it .
    Thanks for the sweet words and the hugs !!

  13. Yeah, that it had been from your heart is quite evident while reading 🙂

  14. OMG! this is such a touching post. And really kudos to you for having the patience, determination and confidence. I pray that every dyselxic child is blessed with a mother so loving and caring as you. It’s amazing to see the progress you brought into your child’s life.
    Me n my husband were both were good at studies all through out and were scholarship students….that now when my toddler son takes soo long to learn his alphabets, inspite of me sitting with him for hours…it drives me up the wall. I get so angry and impatient and wonder what’s wrong with him. And that’s where your last line hit me.. “Set down your standards…. Let your child smile, laugh and play! Let them do what they love to ……!” I more than often remember that he’s still a child, but many a times I need a reminder as such. Thankyou

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