What happens if you react to eve teasing !


Inspired by Shail’s and Indian Homemaker’s posts .

We have always heard from the elders that it is better to leave the eve teasers to themselves and we have always heard from the enlightened women , and police and social workers that you should react . But what really happens if you decide to react ?

I am ashamed to admit I usually don’t react because  I will lose my temper to such an extend that I will lose myself.

Once I was hurrying with my kids dragging them all along to their weekend classes when a worker wolf called a song . The song is a very good romantic one . But words have double meaning . And he had been using it intentionally .

He had been doing this for quite a few days . I got hooked off to such an extend that I stopped in midway to give him a piece of my mind . I was so angry thinking he has the guts to tease a mother who is trying hard to manage two kids and is running mad with her chores . ( One part of my mind was also mad at the fact that he has distorted one of my favourite songs. )

He came up with the excuse that he is singing on his own . Why did I listen . and such craps !!

What made me really sad is that the other men who were along with him were just smiling to see all this and he was working in the house next to ours and the people there just peeked from inside and went back .

My kids got so upset and wouldn’t let me take that path until they went away finishing their work. They used to say it will make me upset . Even now after almost a year I feel like giving him a good blow .

This is the society we are living in .

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17 responses to “What happens if you react to eve teasing !

  1. Most Indians are convinced that this harassment is something women have to learn to live with. Some will claim it’s just a little ‘teasing’, some others would suggest it should be seen as flattery. Some others feel it’s not them who are affected (at least not at that moment), so may be the woman did something to provoke the harassment. Such ignorance means most people will not think of supporting a woman who has the boldness to take on such criminals.

    I would say we should retaliate only when we are sure of support. Most such offenders are cowards, they are emboldened, if they sense the victim has no support.

    I reacted once and blogged about it here,
    http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/the-night-i-was-not-an-easy-prey/

  2. I had written a longggg post on this sometime back.
    Sigh! I do think that we hv to fight it out with such a society at times, but eh, elders do ask us to exercise caution 🙄

    http://thesongoflife.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/face-the-brutes/

  3. Sad such things continue to happen. Sadder still that women are made to feel guilty!

  4. I think IHM has hit the nail on the head, with her line ‘I would say we should retaliate only when we are sure of support. ‘.

  5. WELL you shud have given him a BLOW.. or picked up a brick or something .. such people are a disgrace to the word MAN.. I do beleive one has to fight cause NOT speaking up is also WRONG.. he did that to you next day he will do the same to someone else .. so if stopped at first day he will think twice the next day …

    and socho socho .. pata karo kahan hai woh.. uska ghar kahan hai.. let me come to india uske ghar main ghus ke uski pitai karte hain 🙂 he hehe

  6. One thing I have learnt is that our body language makes a difference too. When I was at school and used to go to tuitions/extra classes either alone or with a classmate, she used to stress on walking straight – with eyes NOT on the ground, and being aware of everything around you. Most of the eve-teasers are bullies, and target us when they think they can get away with it. They normally do not target people who might stand up to them. And yes, as IHM says retaliate when you are in a comfortable position.

  7. Aswathy Venugopal

    yes!! i too agree with wat smitha says.. our body language can convey better..
    just stay confident. most of these guys r cowards themselves n they shine only by the support of their peers around or in a feelin that v dont dare to react.. so just wear a confident posture n walk on..

  8. Smitha and Namesake ,
    Have always believed in body language . But it is not the case always . Some are too blind with their own dirty minds to look out for any body language .

  9. Akka do you remember the day … someone did that when i was there with you???

  10. I can write pages on this…. after all I live in God’s own country where some think it is their birthright to harass women while ae majority of the rest think you somehow brought it upon yourself’ and the rest think what’s the big deal anyway, it was just a song.

    I look them in the eye and show them I am unfazed by their cheap attitude. Sometimes I look through them as if they don’t exist. Recently (a month back to be precise) there was this lungi clad laborer who said something explicit. White hot rage filled me. But I looked at him and asked in the most condescending and filled-with-contempt voice, ‘Entheda?? Nee paranjathu kettu pedichu pokum ennu vicharicho??’ (You thought what you said would scare me??”) and continued in Malyalam “I have seen all the body parts you mention and yes I have them. You thought you could scare me by naming them??” Of course there were people around and they heard me.
    The man had not expect me to react and went silent, the coward and the people around stared at me and looked away when I met their eyes.
    The first thing is, we women/girls have to stop being intimidated by the tactics of these scoundrels. We have been taught to be shy and docile. We have to grow out of that.
    Once, a couple of school kids (not more than 16) talked obscenity in Malayalam while I walked past. I pretended I did not understand them. Everyone says I don’t look like a typical Mallu. So it worked. The boys were stumped and really frustrated because I had not react in any way. I felt so utterly happy about that I wanted to do a victory dance.

    But like IHM says, retaliate only when we are sure of support or atleast where there are lot of people around.

  11. BTW, no amount of body language works with these cheapos. I can vouchsafe for that.

  12. Thank you for the comment Shail 🙂 I sort of …thought I am losing my nerves . Having a tit-tat with a worker 😀 But some times they really drive you crazy ( I dont know how to type a angry , red faced emoticon . Add it here !)

    Think of 8-10 yr old street boys who tease the passing women by singing Sheila ki Javaani 😐
    I can only feel sorry for the lost childhood .

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