The big difference b/n praise and confidence

For three -four years now I have been constantly praising Ruby for whatever he does . And to make it equal Pearl also recieved a good share of it . It helped to boost their confidence . Made them happy kids . . But everything has a downside.

Recently , I started to observe that both of them look up to me for my praises and approval even for silly things . When asked a question Ruby especially would try to answer it in a way that would please me .

All his written work will have some thing starting ‘ my mom says ‘ . Of course the indulgent Mom is happy about it . But the rational me is not . I want them to grow up as adults who believe in themselves and not in their parent’s judgments .I don’t want them to wag their tail every time they get a praise or a pat . I want them to be able to judge themselves in spite of others praises or criticisms .

I have been thinking about this for quite some time but didn’t know how to tackle it with out letting my kids feel that I don’t care for them any more . Then I came upon this article by Raising happy kids .

Now when they look at me with expectation I ask them what THEY think about it . Or how do they feel . At first it was a difficult for them to answer . ( I realized when they finish a task they are looking forward only for my approval and they are not thinking for themselves . If I say it is good or even smile they are contend !!)

But now they have started to think . And slowly they would learn to listen to themselves . More important to follow their dreams and not their parents’ . I think that is the best lesson I can give them for their future.

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