Monthly Archives: November 2010

The big difference b/n praise and confidence

For three -four years now I have been constantly praising Ruby for whatever he does . And to make it equal Pearl also recieved a good share of it . It helped to boost their confidence . Made them happy kids . . But everything has a downside.

Recently , I started to observe that both of them look up to me for my praises and approval even for silly things . When asked a question Ruby especially would try to answer it in a way that would please me .

All his written work will have some thing starting ‘ my mom says ‘ . Of course the indulgent Mom is happy about it . But the rational me is not . I want them to grow up as adults who believe in themselves and not in their parent’s judgments .I don’t want them to wag their tail every time they get a praise or a pat . I want them to be able to judge themselves in spite of others praises or criticisms .

I have been thinking about this for quite some time but didn’t know how to tackle it with out letting my kids feel that I don’t care for them any more . Then I came upon this article by Raising happy kids .

Now when they look at me with expectation I ask them what THEY think about it . Or how do they feel . At first it was a difficult for them to answer . ( I realized when they finish a task they are looking forward only for my approval and they are not thinking for themselves . If I say it is good or even smile they are contend !!)

But now they have started to think . And slowly they would learn to listen to themselves . More important to follow their dreams and not their parents’ . I think that is the best lesson I can give them for their future.


After reading the whole book ” Gently falls the Bakula ‘ by Sudha Murthi , I found from google that Bakula  refers to ‘ Ilanji’  flowers .

Yesterday sister and I have been thinking hard which flower it could be .

Ilanji is the tree under which  Hubby and I used to spend so many happy hours as engaged couple . I have even posted about it here!

Now that I have read this book it feels so eerie !!

Childhood Friend

This post is dedicated to my Childhood friend ,who was also my neighbor .

As children we had a great time . Ours was a small gang which had kids from all ages . On Saturdays our house acted as the base as both my parents were working and we had the house to ourselves. And every Saturday there would be some mischief for the elders to scorn . Once we took Mom’s dinner set to  play ‘kitchen’ and ended up breaking all of them . Even now I can feel the trembling of my legs when father came home . That is to name one.

Teenage brought  new dimensions to our friendship. Unknowingly we got separated from the rest of the gang and liked to spend happy hours in our own little world. We studied and gossiped . Listened to all the beautiful songs of our time . We passed secrets which were sweet and naive when I see from here . Flirted as much as we could under the scrutinising eyes of our parents and siblings . Made devious plans against the boys who dared to tease us. Dreamed together . Walked in the moonlight hand in hand wondering what future would bring us .

Childhood friends always know you inside out . They see you before you learn to polish yourself to present before the world.

This is for you my dear friend . For the endless whispers , giggles and life we shared !

Image courtesy – Google search

An extract from Ruby’s answer sheet !

Q. For certain reason you had to walk upside down on a particular day . Write a paragraph on how you spent that day . (120-150 words ) (7 marks )

This year he has a very generous teacher . What makes me happy is he has started to write down his thoughts . And that is a great step to us.

Missing my letters

Hubby mentions he would rather I write letters to him than to the whole world .

I was trying to clear a point to him which I always seem to do since we got married when he suddenly tells me why can’t I write a letter about it  , that way he would get the correct picture .  When I think about it there is something in what he says .

For the last one and half years I had been busy with blogging that I haven’t written any letter to him except the posts here in ‘Heartbeats’ .

You may think it weird to write to your hubby who lives with you almost 24 hours a day . He works from home . But that is our way . He would find letters in his cup board , break fast table , or the least an sms on his mobile . Once he threatened me if I write any more letters he would show it to my parents  😀

Like it happens to so many people the love letters I wrote him after we got engaged brought to light my passion for writing . He was the one who identified I have a way with writing and that I should work on it .

I owe him every word on this blog . If you look at it from a wider angle it is a letter . A big letter which unfolds my life .

Once in these days when I landed on the earth from the world of blogging I found that my house and home needs me more . So I decided to take a break for a while and to spend even more time with my kids and their father .

I always thought I would be bored to death if I unhooked myself from the world of internet . All my acquaintances are  in the virtual world . Or they are the only ones I have . But to my great surprise I wasn’t bored even for a second . Each of my family had some thing to share with me.

We did a lot of snuggling , reading , cooking , craft work , watched movies and TV shows , frequented the park….

And even though it would be treated as a crime by Indiblogger rating I am enjoying it 😀

Ice cream

Yesterday Pearl wanted to buy me an ice cream and was
leading me from one spot to another saying the ice cream shop is just round the
corner . Once we reached there and bought all her favourites she wanted me to
run back home all the way so that the ice creams wouldn’t melt . I have just
one doubt . Whose b’day were we celebrating ? Mine or her ????