Two or three years before, I realised with shock that my son is really suffering for what we want him to be. Every thing was in chaos .I wondered were I went wrong. After I realised, he is a dyslexic child from the movie ‘TZP’ , it took me weeks, even to make a meager plan of what could be done. And even more effort to explain to every body what he might be going through.
The first decision I made was that I will just step back and see what he would do with out me asking him what he should.Because right then my kids would not listen to anything I say.(seem to be eons ago 😀 ) . The words I spoke most was ‘DON’T DO ‘ and ‘YOU MUST ‘.
I learned to let them do what they wanted. Swallowed the words that came to my mouth. A few days later, we all went to Cherai beach for a picnic. I told his father also to let him free , not to tell him any ‘ dos and don’t s ‘ but to make sure that he is safe. It took a lot of effort to keep our mouth shut. But it was worth it. In the evening when we were about to return, Ruby came to me and said with twinkling eyes
‘ Mother, it is a great day! isn’t it ? It is my most favourite day! ‘ .
Thinking of it even now bring tears to my eyes. Then I realised the pressure we put on him every day to make him behave like normal kids. ( sorry, I don’t have any snaps of that day as I wanted nothing to take away my attention and kept the camera away )
It was about 2 or 3 years back . It has been a long way since then. The only thing he needed was somebody who would believe in him with no bones in it. And we believed in him .
My daughter , Pearl who is the most unique and smartest among three of us almost hated me then . There was no effective communication between us. I always tried to draw the line which was the last thing she wanted. It took even more effort for me to reach her.
I was busy making both of them perfect , seeing that they had all they wanted , making sure they were well nourished and well groomed , that I didn’t had enough time to have fun with them.
After 3 years:
We went to the same old beach again a few days before. It is one of our unsaid family agenda to go to some place once in a few months , where we have nothing else but kids to distract us. Whatever they say is the rule !
I was amazed to see two of them ( who are too difficult to be controlled any where ) to be completely in tune with the nature , as though that is the place where they belong !
And Ruby announced that it is his dream come true !
A lot has changed . I don’t take them to meetings or club parties unless that cannot be absolutely avoided because it is impossible to manage them there. Instead we go to parks where they can explore to their will, to exhibitions where they can linger as much as they want, read all the boards and see all the domes , follow whatever they find interesting , to beaches or to any place where they enjoy themselves.
Now three of us are the best friends and my kids are my treasure. ( And Hubby is most proud of it even though he does not let it spoil us ).
I always thought I am a bit crazy( or exaggerating ) . I could see in other people’s eyes ‘ Why you are taking so much effort just to bring up two kids ? They will just grow up. ‘ But all of them would never realise how different my kids are.