Monthly Archives: November 2009

Book Marks For Swetha

It was Siva’s Book Mark making day. And  some how I managed  to send him some smart paper cuts which obviously none of his friends had !

I had promised Swetha a few weeks before  that I will make some book marks for her as she doesn’t want to keep reading folds on her books ! It is no wonder that she didn’t forget it . She had only been back from school and wanted to make them right away.

Thankfully Siva came forward to help me . He was so excited about the whole thing as teacher told him his book marks were very nice.

I just had to give them some cut out papers.

And some stickers ….

And freedom !

Beautiful book marks were ready in no time .

My Only contribution  was a reference . A gift from an old friend  , Long cherished !


( It was  11.00 pm when I had reached the book shop for the chart paper and the shop keeper had almost closed   . Thank God he is not one of types who shows long faces . And I was relieved when the next time I went there he asked me in detail about this book mark making thing bcoz with book week celebrations going on in full swing he  is getting  so many queries !! )

The Invisible Thread of Karma

I don’t believe in the bonds and relations framed by humans.

  Many people have told me how naturally my brother , sister and I  relate to each other  . When I think about it deeper it is not  just that ‘Blood is thicker than water’  . There is more to it . It is knowing  and accepting each other for what we are . It is being there for each other !

In my life there have been…

People  who came from nowhere to help me when I was in distress..

Friends  who gave me company when I was alone , showed me how wonderful this world really is,  made me smile and laugh ,

People who caused irreversible pain and in some way helped me ,  changed my life forever.

Mentors who enlightened me , made me think,  helped me move on ,

Strangers who inspired me far more than anybody who knows me .

Some times switching their roles and most of the time with out them ever knowing  what their deeds really meant to me .

There have been people who by their deeds have acted  as my father , mother , sister, brother , friend, mentor and more……. 

Yes, I believe in the invisible thread of karma that bind humans  together and make us  do what we are destined to , no matter we know it or not , no matter how far or near .

And once they  finish their Mission they simply vanish into the thin air or  change their roles and it becomes impossible to trace them back  !

One Woman Thousand Moments …..!

My best day begins with a cup of tea that I can savour watching the flowers and chirping birds……… It ends with, me cuddled up in my bed……….and the sweet smell of jasmines, by the window….. fills the room.

……I love to walk barefooted on grass covered with morning dew and to watch the small fishes swimming in a pond……………….I love to watch the endless waves on a beach……… and to gaze at the stars in the night……

My moods keep on changing and even I don’t know how. It will be fun to keep a track of it.

Our little expeditions – Constellations

Siva had a portable planetaurium show at his school and he is all the more excited about Universe and planets and constellations, even though he cannot pronounce it correctly.

Dome interior

When we googled in to see the ‘Great bear’ , he immediately pointed out the Great dipper. He is a bit confused about which way it is pointing. And I almost burst into tears . Not because of seeing my son’s brilliance. But it is just impossible for me to see it , no matter however hard I try. ( Not even with the line drawn connecting those stars. )

If possible I would have borrowed his eyes for a while . Just to see the constellation at least for once. For me , stars are just.. well, beautiful bright spots scattered in the sky. I can see and savor their beauty but I cannot see their alignments.

Three dimensional view of anything is one of Siva’s greatest strength and it is one of my greatest weakness. I cannot help wondering what a nice pair we make. ” Mannankattayum Kariyilayum ” !

From the Great bear we moved on to Polar bear- North Pole – Arctic and Antarctic regions – Near to the bear – Polar bear- Away from the bear – penguins- Penguins live in South Pole because there are no predators there on land – They make nest with pebbles and bones . And from there we moved on to the countries near the polar region.

After dyscalculia.

Now that I know I have this problem it is not horrible as I thought it to be .

Now I know exactly the areas I struggle . I can pull myself together getting ready and thus avoid the panics that otherwise occured so frequently.  I don’t have to feel bad when I can’t do some thing. I can calm myself and start doing it from a different angle. Yes, I am working on it.

Two days before I was able to place a phone call using the coin box in one go, for the first time in my life . Yes,  You can’t believe it . Can you ?

I knew what will be coming and I prepared myself before I started. I read the instructions carefully and progressed remembering to concentrate on the sequence. And there I was talking through it. A week Before it was a horror.

With so much effort I make myself do multiplication and sums along with Siva . When he does his Brain gym I also do the  mental sums and Swetha gives the questions. I found out my old calculator and we take turns to check our sums. Yes, I can do it.

It feels like I had been treading  through a dark path which seemed never ending and now  suddenly I realise , I have reached midway . I can see a glimmer of the sunlight and the path that lay ahead is beautifully lit. The only thing I have to do is keep my pace and walk slow and steady. Just like the tortoise in the story I told Swetha yesterday.

In Harmony.

A few months before I would not have thought of my kids doing something other than watching TV , completely on their own and in  harmony.

But now I don’t compel them to do any thing. They can decide on their own what they want to do for the evening. I have even stopped giving the time schedules for TV. And what did I get ? They find out their  interests. They come and tell me what they want to do and what help they want from me .They keep track of their projects and their library. They have complete access to the crafts and they do not misuse them.

I was in the Kitchen for some time and when I came to the living room ,  saw both of them so engrossed in their work.


Drowned in Dyscalculia

The urge to count with my fingers even in front of others. It is irresistible .  But Otherwise I will simply not be able to complete the sum.  I like to go to super markets mostly because they will tell you the exact balance and they will give you an exact bill. They wont ask you to check it once again. And I can be sure if they  billed something I forgot to take.

If you see me listening to some body who tells me about time or schedules or their strategies or projected amounts  or bills or banking , you may think  I am listening keenly or doing the calculations in my mind . But no, I am just staring into blankness. All of it does not mean any thing to me. I have given up listening to them a long time ago. ( My husband says it is the same for him when he goes to a doctor. Is there some condition like that as well ? I wonder ! )

If  my friends remember correctly I have an Id card with birth date recorded as 1997 instead of 1977. Mahesh , Are  you reading this ? Yes, I am now 13 years old or is it 12 ? Any way,  finally I am into my teens!

Now I have a watch which does not even have numbers. I just fell in love the shape of the dial and strap and couldn’t talk myself out of it. But now my times are so vague . Somewhere around something. And looking at the watch dial I feel like looking into a placid pond. It doesn’t mean anything. It is okey with me because I don’t care so much about time. I just want to know how much more time is left from the time limit I have . ( 5 or 10 minutes to reach some where .. like that  .) It need not be precise and I don’t care.

But I hate it when people ask me time . I am so embarrassed. I have to multiply the long hand number with 5 and find the product and then find the short hand number . And then again check the long hand and the again check  the multiplication and ( getting mad ???? )then again relate it to short hand and think if the multiplication has gone wrong , think if  what I think  is correct and then decide on some thing  . ( 15, 30 and 45 is easy but even then I have to mulitply  )

I have set my mobile banner in such a way that I can see time, date and day in letters . Not picture screen . And also calender. It is a blessing that we can carry it around.

I have clocks in every room , in every single position. because I will never know what time of day it is. I have very poor time sesnse. I will get ready early and wait for the correct time . And then I get messed up again in the last minute and reach late. How people really sense time ? I don’t know.

I am very poor with days and dates. Now I am so fed up with up my inability to remember I have stopped taking in data. I just ask the relevant people to remind me and tell them not to  expect me to remember it no matter however important it is . Yes I know my birth date. Year ? I have some how mugged it up. But if somebody ask my age I am cornered. Earlier I used to count them .  But I don’t that will apply now. Now every year I by heart my age. Wedding Anniversary ..tenth or eleventh ? ( my sister has got a head for numbers and dates and she makes it a point to call me before important dates ) My kid’s birth dates …I will count and subtract and do whatever possible.

Few days back only I told my sister I cannot understand the layout and  I have given up. Instead I drew every single page of the web site, with drop downs , in the order , how I want it to be and handed it over to the professional.  I think the persevering nature covers  the  problem to some extend and doesn’t let anybody find out how dreadful it is to be a dyscalculic.